Growing up with a mother like mine does not just leave you without love. It leaves you without a blueprint for what love is supposed to feel like. You do not know what you are missing because you have never had a reference point. You just grow up thinking that love is conditional, that it requires earning, that warmth from a woman who is supposed to care for you is something you have to perform well enough to receive. And even then, it is never guaranteed. That is what a moth

People get deeply uncomfortable when you say you have not forgiven your abuser and do not plan to. Not because you are wrong, but because it forces them to confront how badly abuse has been minimised in our culture. The second you say, “I don’t forgive her,” people start scrambling to tidy it up for themselves. Suddenly they need to explain healing to you. They need to tell you that you are carrying anger, carrying hate, carrying pain. They need to believe forgiveness is the

We talk a lot about romantic breakups. We talk about leaving toxic family members. But there's one type of ending that nobody really prepares you for, one that doesn't get nearly enough attention: friendship breakups. Today, I ended a friendship with someone I considered my best friend. And honestly? It might be one of the hardest things I've done in a long time. Here's what I've learnt after 11 years of healing from narcissistic abuse, the patterns don't just disappear when

Imagine arriving at an Emergency Room with a life-threatening, bleeding wound, only to have the doctor lean in and say, "But have you considered that the person who did this to you was probably just very stressed and had a difficult upbringing themselves?" In that moment, the physician is not being nuanced or balanced; they are being dangerously negligent by prioritising the hypothetical motives of an attacker over the immediate survival of the patient. This is exactly what h

Today marks 11 years since I went no contact with my narcissistic mother. Eleven years since I made the hardest, bravest, most life-changing decision of my life. Eleven years since I chose myself. I call it my Independence Day . Not in sadness or regret, but in celebration; a recognition of my strength, my healing and how far I've come. November 21, 2014. I can still remember the weight in my chest, the fear, the guilt, the voice in my head screaming that I was making a terr

Today is World Mental Health Day , October 10th, a day dedicated to raising awareness, challenging stigma and reminding us all that...

I've heard it countless times in the past few years: " Going no contact is just a trend, " or “ Everyone thinks their mother is a...

When I first started sharing my story about surviving narcissistic maternal abuse, I thought the hardest part was behind me. I'd already...